If Your House Is Messy – Just Own It

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Not too long ago I had made plans to go to a friends house for coffee and let the kids hang out and play. I had never been to this friends house before, so the kids and I were pretty excited. There is nothing better than good friends, good coffee, and good conversation! Yes please. Sign me up!

Except this time, it was different…..

I have known and hung out with this friend many times prior to this day. It is fair to say that our kids were pretty good friends and so were we. I would even consider this friend a “close” friend. She was someone I felt like I could trust and confide in, and I believe she felt the same about me.

The only thing different about this day vs any other day is that we were finally getting to see where she lived. We had gotten together so many times prior, but for whatever reason it was never at her house. It was usually at mine or somewhere public.

It wasn’t until her daughter practically begged her, that she finally decided to invite us all over.

Everything seemed pretty normal and uneventful, she welcomed us all in and the kids went running off to play with their friends. She ushered me into the kitchen and pulled out a chair for me to sit down. However it only took about 2 minutes before she says, “Please don’t mind the mess” and nervously starts cleaning dishes off the counter.

I did my best to reassure her that the mess did not bother me in the least and immediately tried to change the subject.

I asked her how the kids were doing? How school was going? Did they enjoy their recent vacation? However, this time most of my conversation seemed to fall on deaf ears. My normally very attentive, very friendly, very chatty friend has some had morphed into an anti-social, nervous nelly.

She just could not stop frantically cleaning. She kinda reminded me of a human roomba, bouncing from wall to wall, picking up everything in her path!

I kind of wanted to just take her batteries out and make her stop. Her extreme level of nervousness was making me nervous and I was wondering what happened to my friend?

Here is the thing she failed to realize…..

Her mess DOES NOT bother me at ALL! Nada. Zilch. None. I was just happy to be having adult conversation while my kids happily played without me for a minute. I love my friend for who she is as a person. I love her for the kind of friend she is to me. Not for her clean house..

If you want the honest truth..

When I walked in her house I did not even see what she was seeing. In fact, my first thoughts were, “Wow what a cute house” AND “I love those pillows on her couch, I wonder where she got them?” AND “Oh look at that cute craft she just did with her girls, she is always so good at doing fun stuff with them!”

It did not even cross my mind to think , “Wow, she is so dirty, I can’t believe she left dishes on counter”

Not even close!

I actually felt bad that she didn’t seem to be enjoying herself like she normally does when we hang out, and it didn’t seem to matter how much I reassured her she just kept cleaning…. and apologizing!

If you take anything away from this story, what I want you to take away is this….

If your house is a mess – just own it! Don’t make excuses for it. Don’t apologize for it. Don’t feel bad about it.

Just own it!

I promise you your friend will love you regardless!

We are all doing our best every single day with the cards we are dealt.

Your friend is going to be your friend whether your house is messy or immaculate.

Thinking that your friend is going to unfriend you and judge you for your messy house is just like thinking they would unfriend you if you put on a few more pounds than them. Or didn’t have as nice of a house or car as them.

That is just NOT how friendship works.

Good friends don’t care about all that! Good friends know that we ALL messy in different ways, at different times, and under different circumstances.

That is what makes us human.

That is what keeps us dependent on each other.

It’s in the MESS that we find who our real friends are.

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