It happens every January.  I am not sure if it is the winter blues or a longing for sunshine, or the fact my kids have been couped up for days and we just need to break out of these four walls.  Maybe it’s because I sometimes feel like my kids have the attention span of a squirrel and I long to have an adult conversation.  I just want to  talk about something other than “why its not ok to take your sisters things without asking” and “why it’s also not ok to sit and play video games or watch TV all day!” “Oh and stop poking your sister, she clearly doesn’t like it!”

Am I sounding familiar?

I am not sure what it is.  Maybe it is a combination of things?  But what I do know is that I am about half way through my 7th year of homeschooling and I have had the same feeling EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR!

That is not how my year starts though.  We usually begin our school year at the beginning of September and by this time I am ready for some routine.  Summer is officially winding down, and I have ordered all of our curriculum for the year, so I cant wait to get started!  I am full of excitement for what the new year holds.  I even try to do all of the fun things that come with starting school.

We go out and buy all new fresh pencils, markers, and notebooks, and we even take first day of school pics, where they sit on the front steps, holding their first day of school signs. They are so cute!  The excitement of a fresh new year and all that awaits is something we all look forward to.

However, by about mid January, EVERY January, I want to throw in the towel.  Waive the white flag of surrender.  I have dreams of a yellow bus barreling down the road, ready to scoop them up for the day.  Just one day to myself to sit in silence, drink my coffee slowly, eat lunch without interruptions, and think full thoughts!

Doesn’t that sound nice?

Homeschooling is HARD!  The days can drag ON and ON.  You can often feel like something must be wrong? Why am I feeling this way? I had visions of happy kids sitting down everyday to do their schoolwork, without a fuss.  I thought they would just sit on the floor and play nicely with each other while I got a few minutes to myself to read a book or go to the bathroom ALONE!”

“Why is it not working out that way?”

Unfortunately that is not how it goes most of the time, yes of course your kids have good times and you do have days that everything seems to flow like a beautiful symphony.

However…..

Putting your kids in public school is really hard too!  They are both hard, just for different reasons.  With every decision in life there is always a price to pay.  There is no perfect answer.  No one lives a perfect life.  What works for me, might not work for you and THAT. IS .OK.

We live in a one size fits all society, and because of things like social media we get glimpses into peoples lives.  We feel like we know everything about them based on their social media highlight real.  That is just not reality.  We need to stop being so hard on ourselves.

Stop comparing your bloopers to someones highlight reel.  Stop comparing your day 1 to someones year 1.  It is not fair to you or the person being compared to.

Grass is not always greener on the other side, it is greener where you water it! There are pros and cons to everything you do in life.  You just need to decide which will be your pros and which will be your cons.

Here are a few great examples when it comes to schooling….

• A homeschool mom might fight the battle of continually having to remind their child to get their work done during school hours.  But a public school mom has to battle her kids with getting their homework done every night, sometimes for hours,  and this after her kids are already tired and crabby after a full day of school.
• A homeschool mom might have to deal with attitudes about schoolwork, chores, and sibling squabbles. But a public school mom has to deal with attitudes and disrespectful things her kids learned at school from peers she doesn’t even know..
• A homeschool mom might feel the pressure of keeping up and making sure their child is not falling behind in certain subjects.  A public school mom is almost always at the mercy of the school system and can feel rather helpless if her child is behind or not keeping up.
• A homeschool mom might feel the financial strain of living on one income.  A public school mom might have the emotional strain of having to manage a household, juggle childcare, and simultaneously hold down a career.

As you can see, there is no perfect answer.  Every choice we make in life whether it has to do with school or anything else life has to throw at you, has pros and cons.  However, if you are constantly looking over at your neighbors lawn wondering why their grass is so green, then you cannot possibly be watering your own!

After 7 years of homeschooling I have come to realize that January for whatever reason is just hard for me!  I usually take that as a signal to rest, or switch things up a bit.  Moms in general often spend so much time taking care of others that they forget to take care of themselves.  But that does not mean that your job is not important or that you are not meant for the job.  That just means that you need to give yourself some grace! It is ok to rest. I don’t know if we will always homeschool our kids.  That is a decision we take year by year.

However, I think Theodore Roosevelt said it best when he said:

“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.”

― Theodore Roosevelt

Before I close I want to leave you with this…

Just because something is hard, doesn’t mean you should quit.  Just because someones life may look easier, doesn’t mean it is. So until you make peace with your present, however it is, you won’t be able to fabricate a beautiful future.